It’s More than just Bad Language

The Daily Post – Struggle

Far More than just Bad Language, it’s also knowing Right from Wrong.

This post is far more than just about bad language in our society, it is about knowing right from wrong. Due to recent events in the news, where people no longer seem to know what is out of order. They have crossed that line, the one which we are taught when growing up, not to cross, when we are taught what is right and wrong and how to react. This is not about one single act of violence against innocent people going about their lives, it not just about bad language it is about Anger and Hatred in our society. My thoughts are with everyone who has suffered loss at the hands of someone else, of the people who were taken without thought, far too soon and their loved ones who are left behind.

As I ask myself and those around me, what made everyone so angry all of the time, what removed the ability to see what is right and wrong? I, like so many others am searching for the answers, this is simply my own point of view.

When did the world become so intolerant? Where children were brought up not to swear will suddenly let rip and every sentence is filled with expletives. I find it unnerving, it didn’t used to be the norm. Is it an age thing. I’m not old, so I don’t think it is. Of course there were people who swore a lot when I grew up, but they didn’t do it at everyone, they usually had to be severely provoked for the occasional swear word to escape their lips. To be fair, I came from a home where religion played a pretty large part. It was not acceptable to use these words to express your anger or frustration. I know times have changed, but it seems that so many people have forgotten that there are other words which also suffice. Apparently if you are in your twenties or so, it is perfectly normal to “let them have it with both barrels” if something displeases you in any way and in no uncertain terms. I know someone who is like this, who has what I’ll politely refer to as a “fiery temper” she was not chastised by her parents and got away with it, but not with me. As a consequence, she usually has a certain level of respect afforded for me, which she lacks in others. It is not just her though, I have noticed in the workplace, walking down the street, in stores, it makes no difference it is wherever you go. Perhaps it is as simple as that in others too, people will get away with it if you let them.

So, what made the world so incapable of articulating their anger without peppering the conversation with the F word, or worse? Ok so maybe I am a little old fashioned along with my values. As a consequence some language makes me feel uncomfortable and I guess that’s partly what I have a problem with, I don’t want to be around it so I ask myself, am I over sensitive? Don’t get me wrong, there have been more than enough times when I have wanted to let rip too, but I wasn’t brought up that way, so I have an inbuilt off switch, something that does allow me to weigh the consequences of my words and actions. Where my common sense kicks in and tells me that “This is not a good idea” and I tone it down. I still get my point across and to some people it drives them all the more mad that I am not ranting and raving about it in the process. I have worked around people who F and Blind as it used to be known. I’m not pretending to be a saint, sure, I get cross and upset, but is there really a requirement to abuse the person you are angry with over some triviality. Why do people think that shouting abuse at someone would make them more inclined to listen to your point? I have also found that this is usually done by the people who claim to be intelligent and at least have an understanding of the common language.

So have we all resorted to guttural language to get our point across and anger when we cant?
When did we become so Angry? Are the people who are getting angry, going to know the difference between the right and wrong ways to enable them to change things, or are they just fed up at not getting their own way. Will they be so inarticulate that they will be unable to get their point however valid it may, or may not be, across to the masses? Or am I so outdated in my approach that this is all the masses understand? For this has now become the norm. In moments of extreme frustration I have been known to resort to the same level, to get my point across. I am not proud of such an outburst, immediately regretting it and such behaviour usually backfires on me. I have always prided myself on a decent command of the English language that I was able to get my point across without the use of such words. Am I old fashioned that I feel offended when I see Facebook comments that are littered with such words. It is wrong that I don’t want to read them, the person who writes them might be truly upset, or they just might be venting uncontrollable anger and I don’t want to get in their way. There is no willpower, no control over their anger and where does it lead.

I am a peacemaker by nature. I don’t like conflict, I will try and diffuse a volatile situation wherever possible, dealing with my own feelings of discomfort later. I have been downtrodden by the process at times, but I will only take so much before I go into battle with my assailant. It is the curse of the millennial that nothing is good enough for them, that they are hard done by, when they do not get what they want and they feel that the world owes them better. Is it that they weren’t slapped at their outbursts, shown that it was not good behaviour to use such language and show disrespect to the people around them. When did they lose the tools to show their displeasure in normal language, or were they not taught them in the first place and if not why the hell not?

In my own home, I now swear from time to time, it isn’t pretty and it happens rarely, but not as rarely as it should. Does that make me a hypocrite? No, I don’t think so because it rarely affects anyone else, it is usually borne of frustration or physical pain. When I’m outside of the home, it is a different matter, if other people are in earshot, I am conscious of my words and getting my point across in a “grown up” manner without the use of expletives, as a consequence I’m very rarely misunderstood when something angers or upsets me. It takes a lot for me to really blow my top and I try to remain calm to get my point across, but when that just isn’t possible, you’d better watch out.

Is it about respect, not just for their elders, or lack of it?
There were simply words it was not polite or excused to use when we were growing up. You would be chastised for their use and called a fishwife, it was just not acceptable behaviour. So when did it all change? Sure there were people who swore when they got upset, but you gave them a wide berth and stayed away from them, so when and why did it become the new norm? I am curious to know what influenced it?
I don’t think that the world in general has become a worse place, it is the people within it who have made it so. A place where people think twice about bringing children into the world, because of what is going on here. The people have become far less tolerant over time. There were wars, but there have always been people who do not get along and they have fought. But there certainly seems to be more anger and hatred than there used to be and more wars, which usually seem to be brought about by greed. More and more, it seems that people resort to explosive anger and violence just to get their point across. There are too many voices and they are all shouting, so now no-one will listen, so is it down to who is shouting the loudest that will win and be heard. Did the world stop discussing things, simply because people stopped doing what they said they would do? They changed their minds and didn’t think to tell the others, thinking that they didn’t have to be held accountable for their actions any more. The world would let them away with it and it has. Where punishment for your wrongdoing is either non-existent or disregarded due to it’s lack of severity.

We are surrounded by loud mouthed abusive children, who have now grown into disrespecting adults who are incapable of doing anything, who survive on their cunning by trying to be clever and outwit the people remaining who do have a sense of right and wrong. A disposable society which does not value anything or it’s worth, just it’s price. They now grown into adults who have children of their own who are being brought up in their own image and it is getting worse!

Don’t get me wrong, Good People still exist….

I know many people who have become great parents who are teaching their children right and wrong and whose families show each other the proper respect and this continues into the outside world around them. I also speak to teachers who are dealing with the aftermath of the “no punishment” brigade and go to work every day in fear of their safety. For the abuse they will receive from their pupils and are rendered powerless by the authorities to stop it. Living on their wits, when just a stern word could cause them to lose their lives due to the weapons which are brought into schools by children and used “to teach the grown ups a lesson”. These Teachers do this job, because they live in the hope that they are making a change for the better, that if they listen to their pupils and their voices are heard, if they teach them right from wrong, then the world will become a better place. Then the marks made on society will be achievements and good, not how many people’s lives have been lost or people maimed and damaged in the process of rising to the top.

We should not accept living in a society born of fear. Where you cannot leave your home without carrying a weapon, where you cannot own something nice, for fear of someone else wanting to take it away. For people resenting what you have because you have worked for it. Wake Up World, there is still time to change this and it isn’t going to be achieved by killing people who don’t see your point of view.

 

On Facing our Fears.

It’s a strange thing, when you decide to face your fear.
I know that in some ways it can be a good thing, however there are times when fear itself has a firm grip and I am left feeling unready for the excursion.

My fears this particular morning, may seem be quite a simple thing to others. Yet bring such fear in myself as to bring on a panic attack of such magnitude that it sets the irritable bowel off on it’s merry way again. All that brought on by the mere thought of doing something which we feel we cannot possibly do. I do not understand how it can have such a devastating effect on us. I feel the need to berate myself for being so silly about it in the cold light of day.

Yesterday I awoke in the early hours and thought about brushing the dog, such a simple task you might think. However it is not for me. In 2012 I was attacked by 2 Dogs, the first was one which we were considering re-homing. After we had spent 2 months with him around us, settling him in as part of the family, he attacked both my Partner and I for attempting to put a lead on him to take him for a walk. It was totally unexpected, but this was something that we had not done, since his current owner had always put his lead on for him. He had been in our home during the day for several weeks, we had all walked together along with our dog regularly. I had also taken both dogs out on my own, without issue. He had stayed for the weekend and even slept on our bed. But suddenly he turned on him and bit my partner’s hand down to the bone and sunk his teeth into my thigh when I tried to split them up and get my partner out of the way to safety. Suddenly this very large cuddly puppy reacted like a monster, he was heavy and very strong and we had to rethink, although we gave him another chance other circumstances forced our decision not to take him on. A few months later, a random dog went for my one over the playing fields and again I got in the middle, to protect on this occasion my baby. It resulted in my being maimed a hospital stay and two operations. (and so much more that I won’t go into here)

So for the reasons I have already mentioned, I am now hesitant to be in with my beloved and very large dog, in a confined space for the three hours it will take me to brush his coat. Since the accident I have avoided this for as long as possible and it is simply not fair to him. He has a very long coat, with several undercoats and moults twice a year. These are major moults which shed like tumbleweed all over the house and garden. At times this has me thinking that I would rip up all the carpets, the only thing stopping me is I actually like carpet underfoot. So I have persisted with it in the house. Now that the warmer weather has definitely arrived, he is shedding his winter coat all over the place. I need to take action. I have always bathed him with my partners help, he loves water so much that it has to be a joint effort to hold him in one place for long enough. I have always brushed him myself, believing that it strengthens the bond between us. He has never been to a professional groomer and I cannot afford to take him to a professional to get him washed and brushed now. I don’t actually know how he would react at this new thing now he is five years old. He’s always been a bit funny about his bits. But I have always brushed him nevertheless. He doesn’t like it much, under sufferance, he will relent and let me brush him until he goes to sleep and then wonders why I have to continue. He is not a willing accomplice and these days I muzzle him for the duration, which is torture in itself, since he wonders what he has done before we have even started. He growls at me when he has had enough and this is why he wears the muzzle, just in case. He can look very fierce when he is growly and I find it disconcerting in a confined space, although I am Mummy and generally boss he is after all a dog and doesn’t like being cornered.

As I merely thought about brushing him, since I was due to have an afternoon where my Partner is out, I had thought it might be the ideal time. But then I felt that familiar tightness in my chest, building up to an almost insane level where I could not breathe. The pressure in my ears thudding around my head and my pulse quickening. This went on for some time and then I started to feel a numbness up my legs. I tried for a moment to change my thinking, calm thoughts but it was just too late, it seemed to have taken hold of me. After trying to kick it out of my head with meditation, I was able to calm down but for a while, the terror reigned. I lost all rational thought, a mind full of what ifs….

He is my baby and I love him so much. He wandered into the room, took one look at me and turned and left, in one look probably told him what I was thinking, it was a complete dead loss, I had no chance of brushing him that day. Thoughts of that day almost two years ago returning to me had rendered me incapable of taking care of him properly, a full blown panic attack and the stress making itself apparent in so many ways, headache, shaking sweating and an upset stomach being just a part of the experience.

I will man up and face the fear, I have to. But It might take a few attempts and I might have a half brushed dog in the meantime.